Have you ever woken up, kissed the person next to you and thanked God that you’re still alive?? I did that this morning. I’m now banned from flying with American Airlines.
Found out today that Piranha fish can totally remove the flesh from a child’s body in under 5 minutes.
On the downside, I’ve now been fired from my job at the aquarium.
Tried to explain to my 4 year old son that pooping your pants is nothing to be ashamed of… He’s totally not buying it and he’s been making fun of me for 1 hour straight.