Found out last night that watching your lover sleep is only romantic if they know who you are.
I was gonna make a joke about black people but I guess I’ll have to slave it for later.
Saw this stunning girl at a bar last night. I got her a drink, walked over to her and then felt my knees go weak and my stomach turn to butterflies. Turns out that I spiked the wrong drink by mistake.
I’m fat but I’ve decided to identify as skinny.
I’m trans-slender.
Has anyone else noticed that the symbol “&” looks like a person dragging their butt across the floor?
Q. What’s the female version of a ManCave? A. The kitchen.