Q. What do women and bacon have in common? A. They both look, smell and taste amazing but they also both slowly kill you.
Just got a bike for my wife…it was a good trade.
A horse walks into a bar… The bartender says “Why the long face?”
The horse, unable to speak English, shits on the floor and leaves.
Last night a cinema near me was robbed of over £1000.
The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large drinks and a pack of Skittles.
Q: Why are women like condoms?
A: The both spend about 90% of the time in your wallet and 10% of the time on your cock
What has four legs and says boo? A cow with a cold.