I’m tired of people complaining about $7 beers, $10 parking and $20 cover charge. Don’t like the prices, stop coming to my house!
Q. What do you call an Arabic thief who steals garden tools?
A. Amin Yashed
Q. Why do gay people love Scotland? A. Because the men wear skirts and the country’s full of tight arses.
My wife just called me.
She said, “Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous.”
I said, “That’s probably why they’ve received flowers then.”
My dad never loved me as a child. I can’t blame him really. I wasn’t born until he was an adult.
My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.
So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.