By replacing your morning coffee with green tea you can replace 87% of the joy you have left in your life.
Yo mama is so stupid she put cat food down her pants to feed her pussy.
That beautiful smell when you put a thick juicy piece of steak onto a barbecue. I wonder if vegans get the same feeling when they are cutting the grass?
I manage to bring a different girl home every weekend. It’s getting quite crowded in my basement.
I was taking a shit at 11:59 and the clock struck midnight.
I thought to myself “same shit different day”.
My girlfriend wanted me to surprise her for her birthday so I phoned her from Morocco.