The Best Funny Wife Jokes

My wife used to think that I was a control freak but that changed once I started to make deductions from her allowance.

Q. What does a grenade and a wife have in common?
A. They both take your house and leave you hurt when you remove the ring.

My wife is so selfish that the only blowe jobs I get is when my soup is too hot.

Yesterday when we were in bed my wife shouted at me and told me I was really annoying… I almost choked on my popcorn.

My Wife has this really annoying habit. She keeps breathing.