The Best Funny Wife Jokes

I’m not saying my wife’s cooking is bad…..

But several weapons manufacturers from the Middle-East have been trying to buy her recipes.

Today is my 5th Wedding Anniversary and it’s been a total nightmare. On the plus side I’m now no longer scared of terrorism.

The other day my wife asked me to get her face tattooed on my arm. I said “Why? I don’t need to, I’ve already got a boil on my ass that looks just like you”.

My wife and I have decided we don’t want children. If anybody does please send me your email address and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Yesterday when we were in bed my wife shouted at me and told me I was really annoying… I almost choked on my popcorn.