The Best Funny Wife Jokes

I think I might be the most unlucky person in the world. Last night my wife told me she wants to have sex on the back seat of her car, she was wondering if I could drive.

Me and my wife have an on-off relationship. Every time I get on she tells me to get off.

Last night my wife allowed me to go on top.
I love bunk beds!!

My wife´s suspicious mind is really begining to annoy me. Last night after looking at my calendar she wanted to know who May was.

My wife told me I was one in a million. After looking though her text messages I found out she was right.

It’s my wife’s birthday today so I’ve decided to get her a pair of slippers and a dildo. If she doesn’t like the slippers she can go f*ck herself.