Me and my girlfriend recently started dieting together and we both agreed to having a ‘cheat day’. After a couple of weeks she started getting really angry with me.
Turns out I totally misunderstood and while she was eating pizza I was eating pussy.
The Irish government has recently announced that they are going to save money on lollipop men and women by moving schools to the other side of the road.
Don’t waste money on an electric toothbrush. Simply sellotape a manual toothbrush to your iPhone and set it to vibrate, then get your mum to call you every time you need to brush your teeth.