Instead of wasting money on costly egg timers simply boil your egg to perfection by getting in your car and driving at 60 mph for exactly 3 miles. When you reach the 3 mile mark call your wife and tell her to take it out the pan.
15
AugFunny Short Jokes
Find the best quick hilariously funny jokes that are easy to remember.15
AugCoffee
Went to the doctors yesterday and told him that every time I drink coffee I get a stabbing pain in my right eye.
He advised me to take the spoon out of the cup.
12
AugLoosing Weight
Found out recently that I have a condition which stops me from loosing weight. It’s called being a greedy c*nt.
12
AugDoctor’s office
I went to my doctor and he said he had some good news and some bad news. He said the good news was that he got my test results and I had two days to live. Then he said the bad news was that he has been trying to contact me for two days.
09
AugOnions Pick Up Line
Your face makes onions cry.
09
AugDating Tips
Overcome awkward silences on those first dates by bringing an air horn with you.