The following conversation took place at McDonalds between a stoned guy and a clerk.
Guy: “Can I have a McChicken sandwich, a pack of 20 cigarettes and a bottle of whiskey please.”
Clerk: “Sir this is McDonalds.”
Guy: “Ok sorry, I meant McCigarettes and McWhiskey.”
Yo mama is so ugly she can’t even attract mosquitos!
Me and my wife tried to adopt a baby last week but unfortunately the supermarket security guards saw us on CCTV and we were arrested.
Can’t believe how dangerous the streets are becoming! Just this afternoon I stole an old ladys handbag and punched someone at a bus stop.
What do you call a Chinese man who likes to eat soup with chopsticks?
Yuan Dum Fuk
Just spent the last hour tightening every bottle top and jar in my house. That will teach my wife for saying she doesn’t need me anymore.