An elephant, an ostrich and a crocodile walk into McDonalds and interrupt a half-naked man eating a burger. The crocodile pulls out a police badge and says, “We have reason to believe you are carrying substances of a hallucinogenic nature, Sir.”
According to my wife the term “Paki Shop” is not PC anymore so I’ve decided to compromise and now call it the ‘Newsasians’.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. The pictures on my computer are worth a long sentence.
Q. What do subway and prostitution have in common?
A. They both get paid to do your wife’s job.
Just got a pizza delivered and they forgot to put mozzarella on it. I’m really cheesed off.
Me: Can I have a shag?
Girl: No!
Me: Wait! I don’t think you heard me correctly…
Girl: Oh, I think I did…
Me: Fine then, what did I say?
Girl: “Can I have a shag?”
And that, Your Honour, is why it wasn’t raype.