Best Funny Surreal Jokes

An elephant, an ostrich and a crocodile walk into McDonalds and interrupt a half-naked man eating a burger. The crocodile pulls out a police badge and says, “We have reason to believe you are carrying substances of a hallucinogenic nature, Sir.”

“Let me in or i’m going to punch down your house”
Inventor of knocking, 8000 BC

Met somebody at work today called William Hill, what are the odds?

I really ducking hate autocorrect.

Can’t believe how long my Iphone is taking to charge. It’s been soaking in Apple Juice for about 8 hours now but still nothing is coming up on the screen.

We only have 2 minutes left before we die… but every time you breath it resets the clock.