Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men.

Baby

in Relationship Jokes
+50 -42

When I found out my girlfriend was having a baby my life really changed. I changed my name, address and phone number.

Tool

in Relationship Jokes
+31 -23

My friend called me a ‘tool’ so I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. I guess he was right.

iPad

in Relationship Jokes
+32 -24

I said to my girlfriend, “Please get me a newspaper.”
“Don’t be silly,” she replied, “you can borrow my iPad.”

That spider never knew what f*cking hit it.

Birds and The Bees

in Relationship Jokes
+20 -12

Spoke to my son yesterday to teach him about the birds and the bees. He ended up teaching me about my wife and the milkman.

Cross The Road

in Relationship Jokes
+22 -14

Why did my wife cross the road? To get back to the first shoe shop we went in three f*cking hours ago.

Break Up Ideas

in Relationship Jokes
+33 -25

If you break up with your girlfriend and she wants to move out make sure you order her a taxi for 8pm on Thursday. That way with everyone clapping it’ll look like the whole street is glad to see the back of her.