Best Funny Political Jokes

What do Santa Claus and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common?

They can both be in two places at once.

I can’t believe all this global warming bullsh*t. The c*nts are always telling people to turn their lights off to save energy and help the planet. Last night I followed their advice, turned my lights off and ended up killing a pedestrian.

Now pay attention, 007; this looks like an ordinary suitcase but, if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it around.

Top scientists estimate there are over 48,200,000 kangaroos in Australia whilst Wales has a population of 3,136,000. So if the kangaroos decided to invade Wales, every Welsh man and woman would have to fight 15 kangaroos which is why politicians are allowed to break lockdown rules and finger random women.

Just seen Simon Cowell drowning in my local swimming pool so I saved him ……….. as my profile picture on facebook.

Greta Thunberg is such a hypocrite. She asked me to use a condom last night even though it’s made from polluting plastic.