Best Funny Political Jokes

What do Santa Claus and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common?

They can both be in two places at once.

I can’t believe all this global warming bullsh*t. The c*nts are always telling people to turn their lights off to save energy and help the planet. Last night I followed their advice, turned my lights off and ended up killing a pedestrian.

Now pay attention, 007; this looks like an ordinary suitcase but, if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it around.

Just heard on the radio that apparently Colonel Sanders got the idea for KFC during WWI when he was raiding a German chicken farm using a flame thrower.

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea… you never get that tea.

How do you confuse a feminist?
Tell her she can’t make you a sandwich.