Best Funny General Jokes

How to make the best salad ever in 3 steps.

1. Get a bowl.
2. Put a tiny amount of lettuce at the bottom.
3. Fill the rest of the bowl with pizza.

Last night a girl in a bar told me “I wouldn’t f*ck you if you were the last person alive.”
I leaned over to her and whispered “But who would be around to stop me?”

That wiped the smug look off her face.

Can’t believe how stupid the staff are at the McDonalds drive through. Sometimes it feels like I’m talking to a brick wall.

There’s no “I” in team but there are 5 in individual brilliance.

My Grandma died on her 100th birthday. It was a real shame, we were only half way though giving her the bumps.

Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.