Best Funny Dirty Jokes

I found out some cunt shagged my bird last night. This morning, there was jizz dribbling out of my turkey.

Just be arrested for indecency at my local homeless shelter after trying to help them cook Christmas dinner. Apparently they told me to PLUCK the turkey.

Don’t you just hate it when you sleep with a girl and she forgets who you are and keeps screaming another guys name. Who the hell is “Rayp” and what country does this name come from?

What do you call a guy whose ugly and poor but gets laid without paying for it?

A rapist.

Q. What do sex and art have in common?
A. Most of it is shit and all the good stuff is way too expensive.