Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

Life

in Dirty Jokes
+18 -24

Q. Why is life like sex?
A. Because you get out what you put in.

Junk Mail

in Dirty Jokes
+31 -37

I’ve got nothing against gays but I wish they would stop sending me junk mail about ‘free cavity filling’.

Text Message

in Dirty Jokes
+17 -23

Really hate auto-correct.

The other day I sent my friend a text message saying “Do you want to wank with me along the river?”

Really embarrassing… I meant to say ‘canal’.

3-some

in Dirty Jokes
+16 -22

Organised a 3-some last night.

There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time.

Chinese Girlfriend

in Dirty Jokes, Racist Jokes
+92 -98

Just broke up with my Chinese girlfriend. Watching someone squint while they’re giving you a BJ is really off putting.

Served in McDonalds

in Dirty Jokes
+17 -23

Got served in McDonalds earlier today by a really attractive girl. She asked me “I can make it large for you for 30p extra if you like?”. I replied “You already have, how bout you come into the toilets and finish me off for an extra £2?”.