Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Cat and Dog

in Animal Jokes
+34 -22

A dog can learn up to 250 words and count up to 5. Equivalent Human age = 3.

A cat doesn’t give a f*ck and is sick of your sh*t. Equivalent human age = 42.

Blind Deer

in Animal Jokes
+75 -63

What do you call a blind deer?
No eye dear.

What do you call a blind deer with a broken leg?
Still no eye dear

What do you call a blind deer with a broken leg that has been castrated?
Still no f*cking eye dear.

Funny Ebay Advert

in Animal Jokes
+61 -50

#### Parachute For Sale ####

One parachute for sale. Only ever used once, never opened, has some red stains.

Birds

in Animal Jokes
+33 -22

Q. Why do birds always sing in the morning?
A. Because they don’t have to go to f*cking work!!

funny chicken road

in Animal Jokes
+142 -131

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to your house!
…..
Knock Knock
Who’s there…
The chicken.

Cats breakfast

in Animal Jokes
+43 -32

What do cats love to eat for breakfast?
Mice Crispies