Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Parrot

in Animal Jokes
+27 -41

Got a parrot the other day but it didn’t say “I’m hungry” so it died.

Fat Ex-Girlfriend

in Animal Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+10 -25

My fat ex-girlfriend recently got a t-shirt saying, ‘I’m a maneater’…
I told her that’s not how you spell manatee!

Sheep

in Animal Jokes
+30 -45

What do you get if you cross a motorway with a flock of sheep?

A flock of dead sheep.

Pigeons

in Animal Jokes
+21 -36

Did you know pigeons die after having sex?
Well the one that I fucked did.

Chuck Norris Horse

in Animal Jokes
+15 -30

Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.

Shark

in Animal Jokes
+28 -44

Q. Why did the shark keep swimming in circles?
A. It had a nosebleed.