I had phone sex last night but now my iPhone vibrate has stopped working.
Why do women love gold more than men?
Because gold has 24 carrots whereas a man only has 1 carrot !
Q. Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A. Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
Just been sacked from my job at the casino. Apparently when they hired me as a dealer I wasn’t supposed to try and sell crack cocaine to customers.
Gay jokes are not funny, I mean cum on guys!
Why can’t poop ever win a race? Cause it always comes in turd!