Got some cheap aftershave from China the other day, no wonder they all have eyes like that.
My wife left me for a weather man. She’ll be mist.
Accordion to research 9 out of 10 people are so dumb they don’t even notice when you replace a word with a musical instrument.
My psychiatrist said that I have the memory of an elephant.
I keep thinking about elephants.
Just gave my girlfriend a medieval battle uniform to polish while I go to the bar.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
I heard women love a man in uniform so just got a job working at McDonalds.