Just got fired from my job at Lastminute.com, I kept turning up late.
Went to the doctors today and he told me that I was too fat. I told him I wanted a 2nd opinion and then he told me I was ugly as well.
My ex-girlfriend was really terrible in bed. She would just lie there screaming “noooooo!”.
Had a threesome last night with my girlfriend and her twin.
Dave really hurt my ass.
Thought I saw a kangaroo in my garden this morning so I ran down the stairs and went outside but it turns out it was just a dog taking a sh*t.
Man: How u doing? Woman: Fine? Man: I said how you doing not how u looking?