Q. Who is the most tech-savvy Israeli Prime Minister? A. Netandyahoo
I asked a girl at the gym today what her New Years Resolution is and she said “F*ck you!”. Looks like 2017 is going to be a good year.
Just started dating an Italian bricklayer…
It’s cement to be.
Me and my girlfriend recently started dieting together and we both agreed to having a ‘cheat day’. After a couple of weeks she started getting really angry with me.
Turns out I totally misunderstood and while she was eating pizza I was eating pussy.
Just broken up with my girlfriend due to religious differences… She failed to worship me.
I raised the fire-alarm at work today.
The midgets in my office were furious.