Can’t believe I’ve been banned by Apple from making iPhone apps. Apparently thousands of people complained that my ‘weighing scales’ app broke their phone.
Went to the gym today and theres a new machine! Used it for an hour and felt sick.. Its good though, it does everything Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers
What’s 6 inches and leaves white stuff over your face?
A toothbrush.
Miley Cyrus DVD: $15 Tub of Vaseline: $3 XL Box of Tissues: $2
The look of disgust on the cashiers face as you pay: Priceless
Saw a fire breakout at my local mosque yesterday so I reported it to the emergency services.
Hopefully they got my message and did something to help otherwise it will have been a waste of a first class stamp.
I used to work for a Jewish carpenter.
He used to check my fingers for splinters to make sure I wasn’t stealing.