Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Best Friend

in Animal Jokes
+27 -18

They say a dog is a man’s best friend. But even my worst enemy would never stare directly into my eyes whilst taking a shit on my carpet.

Drink Responsibly

in General Jokes
+23 -14

It says “Please drink responsibly” on the label so I guess I should probably put my seat belt on.

Wet

in Relationship Jokes
+25 -16

Just had the following conversation with my wife

Wife: “Give it to me! I’m so f*cking wet! Give it to me now!”
Me: You can scream all you want, you’re not having the umbrella.

Broom

in Relationship Jokes
+28 -19

My wife: Where’s the broom?

Me: Why, where are you going?

Amazon Attack

in Sports Jokes
+138 -129

A tribe in the Amazon rain forest is thought to be responsible for a viscous cannibalistic attack on a group of World Cup supporters yesterday while they were hiking. Police have issued a statement warning people to be on the look out for a man with goofy teeth, short black hair and wearing a Uruguay football shirt.

Hard Worker

in Dirty Jokes
+42 -33

It would be a lot easier to be a hard worker if my boss didn’t keep blocking porn websites.