Hi, I’ve lost my teddy bear and I was wondering if you’d sleep with me instead.
Why is it when an old person comes up to me at a wedding as says “You’re next” its somehow socially acceptable but when I do the same to them at funeral I get into trouble?
Q. How do you confuse an archaeologist? A. Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.
My maths teacher asked me a question today at school, “What comes after 69?” Apparently ‘ mouthwash ‘ isn’t the correct answer.
Can’t believe I’ve been banned from Walmart. Apparently when the checkout girl said “strip down facing me” she was talking about my credit card.
Yo mama is so fat, when she stands on the weighing scales her phone number comes up.