I went to a psychic the other day and asker her if I was gonna go to jail in the future….. She said no so I robbed her.
Feeling excited today. Just graduated from the police academy and also read in my horoscope that I’m gonna be meeting a tall dark stranger. Looking forward to trying out my new taser.
My girlfriend just sent me a Facebook message saying:
“helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative”
Does anybody know what ‘ternative’ means?
Q. Why are most pills white? A. Because they work.
Don’t you just hate it when your Korean grandma makes a really nice chow-mein but then you find out your dogs gone missing.
What’s the difference between a refugee and E.T?
E.T. learnt English and wanted to go home!