A dog can learn up to 250 words and count up to 5. Equivalent Human age = 3.
A cat doesn’t give a f*ck and is sick of your sh*t. Equivalent human age = 42.
If you download mp3s while on holiday in Jamaica, does that make you a ‘Pirate of the Caribbean’?
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone.
To celebrate the new year last night I decided to organize a threesome…
Unfortunately I was the only person who showed up but I still had a great time.
My last girlfriend had to change her name to Sandy because she was so wet all the time.
Just handed in my resignation to quit my job as a psychic. I just don’t see a future in it.