Accordion to a recent survey 90% of people don’t notice when you replace words with the names of musical instruments.
Q. What do you call an Indian person who isn’t very well? A. Sikh
Following conversation took place while wife was watching TV
Husband: Why you watching that cookery show, you’re sh*t at cooking? Wife: Why do you watch porn, you’re sh*t at sex?
Somebody as just wrote retard on the frosted window screen of my car. It took me ages too lick it off.
I tried to log on to my computer this morning but it wouldn’t let me in. I shouted to my wife, “Babe, have you changed the password on the PC?” “Yes honey.” “What is it?” “It’s the date of our anniversary.” Bitch.
By replacing your morning coffee with green tea you can replace 87% of the joy you have left in your life.