Best Funny Surreal Jokes

Q. What’s the difference between a collection of decapitated heads and a Ferrari?
A. I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

My friend got me a book for my birthday called ‘Recipes for Cooking Road-kill’. I found some road-kill the other day, cooked it and it was delicious.. Not sure what to do with the bicycle though.

What’s green and fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree?
A snooker table.

I saw a sign today day telling please keep off the grass. I wonder how it got there?

Drove my car into a fat woman today. I was gonna drive around her but I didn’t have enough gas.

Had a really intense acid trip the other day. For 2 hours all I could see were beams of white light and all I could hear were car horns and people shouting.