Best Funny General Jokes

Has one ever noticed that when one drops a piece of toast it always lands caviar side down?

Just finished charging my iPhone. Hopefully the battery won’t d

Just got fired from my job as a postman for throwing letters in the trash. What did they expect? On my CV I clearly stated that I was the Bruce Lee of laziness with a black belt in partial arts.

According to my Samsung phone my ‘morning run’ has been changed to ‘morning rum’. Sounds good to me.

My cooking is awful.

Does anyone know how much vodka you’re supposed to add to cheese-on-toast?

Last night I saw my sexy neighbour through the curtains masterbaiting with a telescope I ordered from Amazon… Looks like they delivered it to the wrong address. Gonna have to order a new one now 🙁 !