Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

Tug It

in Dirty Jokes
+10 -4

I sat there with a smile on my face as my girlfriend wrapped her hand around it and started to tug at it. An even bigger smile when she gave it a little wiggle and started moving it around. I couldn’t contain myself when she started using two hands, so I eventually laughed out:

“Here, love, I’ll shift gear for you.”

Why Are Men Like Cars?

in Dirty Jokes
+64 -58

Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.

Rape Adivce

in Dirty Jokes
+38 -32

Called a rape advice hotline the other day for some support but apparently it’s just for victims.

Oreos

in Dirty Jokes
+45 -39

Q. What do Oreos and women have in common?

A. I like to open them and lick the creamy goodness inside.

Greek Tampon

in Dirty Jokes
+35 -29

What do you call a Greek man with a tampon on his head?…

Abzorba the Greek

Smokes

in Dirty Jokes
+13 -7

My girlfriend always smokes after sex so I’ve decided to start using lube.