Yo mama is so ugly the local zoo uses a photo of her to stop the gorillas from beating off.
The following conversation took place between a dad and his young child.
Child: Dad where did I come from? Dad: You came from a stork. Child: Wow, you f*cked a stork?
Did a sexual harassment course earlier today at work. I think I’m going to be really good at it.
What is white and covers the streets first thing in the morning? Employed people.
Can’t believe how stupid Google auto-complete is!! Why would I search for “hardcore poem”?
Managed to have sex with my girlfriend for 1 hour 30 minutes doggy style last night. That’s 4 minutes in human time.