Life is like a box of chocolates. If you’re fat it doesn’t last very long.
The following conversation took place between a husband and wife while in bed.
Husband: “Can I try going through your back door tonight?” Wife: “F*ck that sh*t!” Husband: “Thats the spirit!”
Man: Would you wear shoes if you didn’t have feet? Woman: No of course not. Man: Then why do you wear a bra?
Did a sexual harassment course earlier today at work. I think I’m going to be really good at it.
The following conversation took place between a dad and his young child.
Child: Dad where did I come from? Dad: You came from a stork. Child: Wow, you f*cked a stork?
Can’t believe how stupid Google auto-complete is!! Why would I search for “hardcore poem”?