Got a wake-up call today from the hotel receptionist where I was staying. She told me to stop wasting my life and follow my dreams before it’s too late.
My wife recently starting taking cooking lessons and last night she surprised me by making spaghetti puttanesca with freshly baked garlic bread. After we finished the meal she said “Now be brutally honest, what did you think?”. I said “That meal was incredible, you fat c*nt”.
Can’t believe how sexy politics has become since Barack Obama took office. When he was on the TV the other day I think I must have jerked off about 3 times.