The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Q. How do you know if your wife is on drugs?

A. She suddenly becomes a pleasant person.

3 reasons why my wife is like a freezer.

1. She never stops making a noise.
2. She can hold a lot of food inside her.
3. It can take hours of “defrosting” to make her wet.

My wife created a website earlier today to give advice to people who are victims of domestic abuse. She’s had 50 hits today already.

Just got a really big response to my advert on the internet saying ‘Wife wanted’. In about 2hrs I had over 300 emails saying ‘you can have mine’.

I texted my wife a picture of my flaccid peenis today. I wanted to let her know I was thinking about her.

Why wife loves to role-play in bed. She usually pretends to be a coma patient.