Discovered yesterday I have liftophobia, fear of lifts. I’m taking steps to avoid them.
23
FebFunny Short Jokes
Find the best quick hilariously funny jokes that are easy to remember.18
FebLocal Girls
in Dirty Jokes
I was just enjoying a wank when some woman popped up and said, “Find local girls in your area”
I said, “Get the fuck out of my room, mum.”
18
FebHomophobia
in Dirty Jokes
The fear of people to your right is dextrophobia.
The fear of having people to your left is anthropophobia.
And the fear of having people behind you is homophobia.
14
FebValentines Present
My wife asked me, “What did you buy me for valentines day?”
“Well,” I chuckled. “You see that pink Mercedes over there?”
“Yes,” she said happily.
“Well I bought you a toothbrush the same colour.”
14
FebFlowers
Wife’s really angry tonight complaining I never buy her flowers!
Didn’t even realise she sold flowers.
12
FebAnnoying Conversation
“Can you tie a good knot”?
“I cannot.”
“So you can knot?”
“No, I cannot knot!”
“Not knot?”
“Who’s there?”
“Fuck off!”