Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

Posh

in Dirty Jokes
+21 -47

Decided to have a posh wank today.

The people at the suit hire shop were really angry that I ruined their tuxedo.

Sons Girlfriend

in Dirty Jokes
+22 -49

My son walked in today with his new girlfriend.

“This is Sarah,” he burst out.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” I smiled.

“Really? All good I hope,” she smirked.

“Oh yes, he’s a lucky boy,” I replied. “It was a year before his mother let me do her in the ass.”

Bicyle

in Dirty Jokes
+20 -47

Q. What do you call a gay on a bicycle?
A. Bike-curious.

Left Arm

in Dirty Jokes
+29 -56

I went to hospital last night after breaking my left arm and the doctor told me I had to stop jerking off. I said “Why? What’s that got to do with anything?” he said “We’ve been having complaints about you from the other patients”.

Shower

in Dirty Jokes, Political Jokes
+21 -49

I’ve decided I’m never going to jack off in the shower ever again.

Just been informed by the police that I’ve now been given a lifetime ban from the Auschwitz Museum.

Paper Difference

in Dirty Jokes
+6 -34

Q. What’s the difference between toilet paper and news paper?
A. Toilet paper is brown and smells bad.