Just had a video chat with an attractive women who said she’ll do anything I want for only $100. She agreed to come to my house tomorrow. Fingers crossed she does a good job repairing my garden fence.
Hearing the words “Jesus loves you” in a church it feels nice.
Hearing the words “Jesus loves you” in a Mexican prison is quite scary and is usually followed by severe ass pain.
I’ve been sleeping with this bloke’s wife and today he sent me this text: “You go near her again and ill have you dead! Mark my words!” To which I replied: “8 out of 10, the word (I’ll ) requires an apostrophe and a capital I.”