Best Funny Dirty Jokes

Sex is like math. You add a bed subtract the clothes divide the legs and pray there is no multpilcation.

What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common?

They both turn “o” into an “O”.

Hearing the words “Jesus loves you” in a church it feels nice.
Hearing the words “Jesus loves you” in a Mexican prison is quite scary and is usually followed by severe ass pain.

I’ve been sleeping with this bloke’s wife and today he sent me this text: “You go near her again and ill have you dead! Mark my words!” To which I replied: “8 out of 10, the word (I’ll ) requires an apostrophe and a capital I.”

Can’t believe how sexist my local gym is. They cancelled my membership because they said apparently “men aren’t allowed in the female shower rooms”.

I had a romantic dinner for two with my girlfriend last night or as some people like to call it, the 69 position.