Best Funny Dirty Jokes

Why is Friday the most feminine day of the week?

Because it takes forever to come.

My girlfriend had her teeth whitened the other day. Well actually most of it went on her chin.

Just had the following conversation with my mum

Me: I’m going out!
Mum: You’re not leaving until you’ve changed that mini-skirt!!
Me: Why?
Mum: Because I can see your balls Richard.

Today I did that thing where you walk into a room and totally forgot what you went in for. It was only when the shit started running down my leg that I remembered

Scientists claim its impossible to fold a piece of paper 8 times. They’ve obviously never seen me wiping my ass when there is only 1 sheet of toilet paper left.

How do you find a blind man in the nudest colony?
It ain’t hard.