Best Funny Dirty Jokes

Got approached by a prostitute today who said that she would do anything for $10. Guess who just got their car washed?

Can’t believe I’ve just been banned from using Match.com. Apparently “My dick”, is an inappropriate answer to the question ‘What do you want most in a woman?”.

Got sacked from my job yesterday for being a pervert.

I don’t understand why, I’m always hard at work.

3 reasons why you should get a $100 bill tattooed onto your salami.

1. You can play with your money.
2. You can watch your money grow.
3. Every woman loves to blow money.

Had a great time watching Fifty Shades Of Grey at the cinema with my girlfriend. The film was terrible but the reaction of the people sitting in front of us after I flicked mayonnaise on them was hilarious.