The Best Funny Wife Jokes

I tried to log on to my computer this morning but it wouldn’t let me in.
I shouted to my wife, “Babe, have you changed the password on the PC?”
“Yes honey.”
“What is it?”
“It’s the date of our anniversary.”
Bitch.

My wife said I was rude for yawning when she was shouting at me.

I told her I wasn’t yawning, I was just trying to speak.

My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.

So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.

Just got a bike for my wife…it was a good trade.

My wife just called me.

She said, “Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous.”

I said, “That’s probably why they’ve received flowers then.”

Reading Lord of the Rings at the moment. Apparently Gollum used to be normal but wearing the ring drained him of energy.

Reminds me a lot of my marriage.