Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men.

Car

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Did you hear about that new device that can make your car 95% quieter? It fits straight over your wife’s mouth.

Compulsive Gambler

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My wife broke up with me recently because I’m a compulsive gambler. All I can think about is how to win her back.

Anywhere

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Note to self…. When your girlfriend says “You can stick it anywhere you want”, that doesn’t include her sister.

Her Hands

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After years of marriage I’ve learnt that you can tell a lot about a woman just from her hands. When she’s holding a frying pan and waving it around that usually means she’s angry.

Definition of Hypocrisy

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Women color their hair, get boob-jobs, plastic surgery, liposuction, wear heels to increase their height…

Then complain that there’s no real men out there.

Bottle Top

in Relationship Jokes
+76 -22

Just spent the last hour tightening every bottle top and jar in my house. That will teach my wife for saying she doesn’t need me anymore.