Best Funny Dirty Jokes

Did you hear about the dyslexic prostitute? She was really good at cooking socks.

I’m not saying my ex is a slag but if c*cks could fly her mouth would be an airport.

If someone sends you a link called ‘free porn’ dont opin it. It is a birus wich deactivates your spelcheck and fcuks up you riting. I also receibed it but lukily I dont uatch porn so I dint opin it. Plaese warm yu frends, wanks.

The following conversation took place between a mother and daughter.

Mother: If a boy touch’s boobs say don’t. If he touches your punani say stop.
Daughter: But mum he touched both so I said don’t stop.

I was taking a shit at 11:59 and the clock struck midnight.

I thought to myself “same shit different day”.

If you go for a piss and your urine is clear, you’re hydrated.

If it’s yellow, you’re dehydrated.

If it’s white, you’re shaking your c*ck too much.