Got approached by a prostitute today who said that she would do anything for $10. Guess who just got their car washed?
Yo mama is so fat, she can’t even jump to conclusions.
Q. How do you stop a black person from robbing your house? A. Stick a sign on your front door saying “Job Center”!
Do you have pet insurance?? Because I’m going to destroy your pussy.
Just named my dog ‘Tenmiles’ so now I can say I walk ten miles every day.
Q. Why do they name hurricanes after women? A. Because when they arrive they are wet and wild but when they leave they take your house and car with them.