Q. What do you call an Indian who cares about his health?
A. Soshul Distan Singh.
Just had a video chat with an attractive women who said she’ll do anything I want for only $100. She agreed to come to my house tomorrow. Fingers crossed she does a good job repairing my garden fence.
Why are the Chinese not allowed to play cricket?
Because they eat all the bats.
Just had the following conversation with my girlfriend.
Girlfriend: I’ve had enough, I’m leaving you because you’re too cocky.
Me: That’s cool. Make sure you close the door on your way back in.
Someone called me racist the other day. I can’t be racist, my wife has a black eye.
My ex-girlfriend came crawling back knocking on my door today so I opened the door and agreed to give her back her wheelchair.