Sex is like math. You add a bed subtract the clothes divide the legs and pray there is no multpilcation.
The best part about getting a blow job is my girlfriend not being able to speak.
Q. What did one saggy boob say to the other?A. We better get some support, or people are gonna think were nuts.
I tried to log on to my computer this morning but it wouldn’t let me in.
I shouted to my wife, “Babe, have you changed the password on the PC?”
“What is it?”
“It’s the date of our anniversary.”
I’m fat but I’ve decided to identify as skinny.
My girlfriend’s dog died recently so I decided to get her an identical one. She was really angry, she said “what am I gonna do with 2 dead dogs?”