I’ll never forget my Grandads last words…
“Are you sure it’s safe to store 1 tonne of fireworks in the kitchen? “
Do you know if you sit on the toilet at 11:59pm and the clock strikes midnight, it’s the same shit different day ?
Why does a day have 24 hours?
Because this is the point scientists get bored of counting and they called it a day.
What do you call a blind German?
Accidentally filled my escort with diesel last night. She’s dead now.
What do you call a black person with one leg longer then the other?