Funny Short Jokes

Find the best quick hilariously funny jokes that are easy to remember.

Date Disaster

in Relationship Jokes
+14 -13

Went on a date last night which was a total disaster. The girl told he over the phone she was expecting a baby, so I went to the pub wearing nothing but a nappy, felt like a right f*cking idiot!


in Racist Jokes
+13 -14

I have a real habit of acting out the names of any towns that I visit. For example, when I went to Poole, I went swimming. When I went to Rugby, I played Rugby. When I went to Bath, I took a bath. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I need bailing out of Blackburn police station.


in General Jokes
+11 -15

My mate died recently after taking an E. Countdown’s security staff don’t fuck about.


in General Jokes
+9 -19

All the seasons are named after coils of metal. Except Winter and Summer. And Autumn.


in Political Jokes
+12 -19

Feminism, the belief that both sexes are equal but men need to be controlled because they’re not equal.

Out Of Order

in Dirty Jokes
+17 -15

I desperately needed a massive shit on the train today but the toilet was out of order, so I just sat there and held it for about 20 minutes.

The woman sitting opposite looked at me in disgust and said, “Is that a poo in your hand?”